life behind the titans
by onominous
Summary: just pointless one-shots. some funny and some serious. but mostly funny. lots of BBxRae and other pairings.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one: claustrophobic, Elmo, and prank calls

**Hey yall, onominous here with a new kind of story. Yes! A series of one shots. Totally out of the ordinary but, the sky's the limit right? Well here's the first chapter. So I guess you read now.**

**Disclaimer: ok I think we all know by now that I don't own the Teen Titans!**

Claustrophobic…

Starfire and Beast boy were now riding in the elevator at titan's tower. They have just finished an exhausting mission, so they decided that since they wouldn't be much help to explain what happen to the press that they would head back to the tower.

Starfire gave a quick glance at Beast boy, whose face was dripping with sweat.

"Friend Beast boy, why are you leaking the excess water?" Starfire asked naively.

"Uh…nothing star." He stuttered. Starfire looked unconvinced but let it slide. Suddenly, the elevator shook, and stopped all together. Beast boy screamed.

Beast boy was now on the floor, his arms wrapped around his knees.

"Friend, what troubles you?"

"We are going to DIE!" he screamed as he waved his hands in the air dramatically.

"No we are not. The elevator is simply malfunctioning, our friends will fix it-"

"You don't understand!"

"Perhaps you are right. Please explain why I am wrong."

"Me and small spaces…" he gulped. "Do not go well together."

An hour later the elevator doors slid open to reveal a frizzled haired Starfire and a shaken Beast boy.

"I believe that I will never ride the elevator again." Starfire said before she collapsed on the floor.

Elmo….

"Elmo knows where you live!" shouted the computer as a picture of Elmo emerged from the dark and a stick man figure screamed. Beast boy laughed out loud. Raven just then walked through the door, her faced stuffed in a book, when she heard Elmo's new slogan.

"What are you watching?" She asked.

"Dude, It's this hilarious video I found on YouTube where Elmo-"

"On second thought, I don't want to hear about it." With a swish of her cloak she was gone.

That night, Beast boy laid in bed fast asleep when he heard a slight giggle. He instantly woke up and looked around his dark room.

"Hello, who's there?" there was another chuckle and Beast boy became all the more frighten. "I'm warning you." He said as he grabbed his pillow and readied himself for battle.

He turned the knob on is lamp and searched the well lit room. There seemed to be nothing that is until he looked at the far in corner. A red mass stood there, an evil grin on his face.

"Elmo knows where you live!"

"Ahhhhhhh!" Beast boy screamed. He jumped out of bed and sprinted out of the room. He then ran to Raven's room, and began pounding on her door shouting her name.

The door open to where you could only see a fraction of her face.

"It's the middle of the night, what can you possibly want?" she asked, completely annoyed.

"So I was in my room sleeping right? And then I hear this soft laugh so I was like, who's there. Then I heard it again, so I turned on my lamp and, and-"

"And what?" Raven asked unammused.

"Elmo knows where I live!" he shouted. Raven raised an eyebrow.

"I think you hit your head. You should go check it out."

"But Raven…" before he had the time to finish, she closed the door. Beast boy stood there for a moment, trying to sort this out until he came to the conclusion that he was hallucinating.

He then walked away, heading back to his room. As he turned a corner, he was abruptly stopped by something furry. Beast boy slowly looked up to see Elmo's face in a crooked smile.

"Elmo knows where you live!" it shouted. Beast boy then collapsed on the floor. He had fainted.

The next morning, when the rest of the team was wondering where Beast boy was, they set out to look. When they were walking to Beast boy's room, they found him on the floor, twitching, repeating "elmo knows where I live" over and over again.

Prank call…part one

"Robin we've been ambush! Call back up! We need- oh sorry wrong number." Beast boy then hung up the phone.

**Well not my best but this is just a substitute 'cause I know it's gonna take a long time for me to update my other** **story. If you have any request…I'll try to right about it. Please review.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two: idiot, prank calls (pt. 2), and denial

**Hey everyone did you miss me? Thank you Sophia Michelle and avandra the mary-sue slayer for reviewing! Hope you find this chapter amusing!**

**Disclaimer: since when have I ever own the Teen Titans! Seriously!**

idiot….

Beast boy was playing some inane video game, when Raven walked into the common room. Here desire for tea led her here, or else she would've stayed in her room meditating. Just one look at Beast boy made her stop dead in her tracks.

She found herself staring at the back of his head. Unfortunately for her, he had spotted this.

"Hey Rae." He greeted. Raven was snapped out of her trance abruptly, and continued with her blush. A slight bush crossed her face.

"Hello." She greeted back.

"Wanna play a game with me?" he said making the best puppy face he could will by actually turning into a puppy. Raven wanted to say 'yes', but that would ruin her reputation. So instead, she said flatly, "No."

"Some other time then?" Raven gave a small smile before walking out of the door. Whispering "Idiot." multiple times

Prank calls (pt. 2)….

"Why am I doing this again?" Raven asked.

"Cause you can't resist me." Beast boy suggested as he wiggled his eyebrows. Raven sighed as she picked up the phone. Beast boy watched in anticipation as Raven dialed Robin's number.

"Hello?" Came his voice from the other end of the line.

"Err…is your refrigerator running?" Raven looked at Beast boy, who was signaling for her to lower her voice. Raven cleared her throat and repeated the question, but in a deeper voice.

"Yeah?" Robin answered.

"Then you better catch it?" Raven said, making it sound more like a question.

"you know, it really isn't polite insulting your leader…Raven." The line went dead.

Denial….

After yet another victory from Cyborg, Beast boy marched to his room. At that moment, Raven had just left her room.

Passing each other in the hallway, they both wore a cheek full of blush.

Starfire poked her head fro around the corner and giggled.

"Denial!" she sang.

**Not my best work but…meh. Hope this didn't get you too confused. Remember, you can put in your review what you want to happen next! Please R&R!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three: cleanup, food fights, and prank calls pt: 3

**Um…just to set the record straight, my other fan fiction, Sakutia, is not dead. I am just having problems wording it. I am working on it though, and I don't get much help because *sigh* I am the only writer in my family. Anyways…I hope this chapter doesn't bring as much confusion as the last, and I see a lot of people like the prank calls, so I plan to keep doing it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Teen titans. Get it. Got it. Good.**

Cleanup

"Is everybody ready?" Robin asked. The group slowly nodded their heads, but the worry on their faces did not go unseen. Robin gulped as he slowly opened the door. Starfire of course had to scream.

"I am most disgusted." Starfire said as she walked in the room, cowering behind Robin's cape. Cyborg walked in, pinching the bridge of his nose, trying to fan out the smell.

"And it stinks too." Cyborg through in. raven walked in soon after, covering her nose with her cloak.

"Can't argue with that." She said as she scanned the room. Piles of month old clothes, rotten food, stains, and comic books littered the floor, and god knows what is under his bed.

Robin gulped and picked up the rag and vacuum cleaner up, then sighed.

"Guys…we may need bigger appliances….guys?" He turned around and found that he was the only one in the room. His shoulders slumped and he got on his hands and knees and began picking up a slice of cheese pizza, which wouldn't come up until he used his bow-staff.

"Never make a bet with a stinky, green, conniving, changeling." Robin muttered under his breath. "It won't end well."

Food fight

"Tofu!"

"Meat!"

"Tofu!"

"You wanna know what I think about your tofu?"

"What?" _smack!_ A slab of tofu was thrown into Beast boy's face from none other than Cyborg, who had his arms crossed with a satisfied smile. Beast boy glared at him, and then smiled wickedly. "Wh-"Before Cyborg had a chance to answer; a medium sized steak hit him on the human side of his face.

"How do you like them apples, carnivore!"

"That's it!" after that, there was an all out food battle that took place in the kitchen.

"Is that all you got?" Beast boy shouted from behind the counter. Instead of an answer, Beast got a bowl of pudding in his face. Dude! Not far!"

After an hour of battling, they soon found out that they had no more food, and a very angry Robin. Moral of this story is, unless you want to have clean up duty for the month, don't have a food fight. Because that is exactly what happen to our favorite heroes'.

Prank calls (pt: 3)

"Cyborg help. It's dark, I'm cold, and I can smell blood." Beast boy said his breathing coming out short and ragged.

"B, can you hear me. Don't worry buddy, I'm comein'. Just don't do anything stupid." The phone line went dead, and with an evil smirk, he hung the phone up.

"Three, two, one…" Cyborg said through the room saying a quick "Hi B." before continuing with his run. Just as he was about to leave, he skidded to a halt.

"I hate you."

**Long update, yes. Is it my fault to blame, yes. Will I blame my siblings, most likely. Will I care, not really. R&R, and it would be great to see your idea's, I'm sort of running out of ideas.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four: remote, diary, and prank calls (part 4)

**Since I forgot to do this for the last two chapters I will do this now. Thank you the cretin, island mirage, and avandra the mary sue slayer! I got a few prompts that I am happy to do, so I hope you guys like it!**

**Disclaimor: I don't own the teen titans, but if the owners would like to trade with me, I have a rubber band, lip gloss, and a paper clip.**

* * *

Prompt for the cretin: remote

"Nothing like some alone time, huh? Just me, the couch, and the TV." Cyborg annouced to himself as he grabbed the remote and started flipping through the channels. He placed his large metal feet on the coffee table as he grabbed his Dr. Pepper and take a swig.

He let out a monster burp, and wiped off the saliva that had somehow formed around his face. The double doors swished open, revealing the green prankster. He saw his best friend sitting on the couch, and decided to join.

He flipped himself over the couch, snatching the remote out of his cybernetic hands.

"Hey Cy, the new wicked scary just came out." He said as he flipped the channels through the movie.

"Oh no you don't," Cyborg said as he snatched back the remote. "We are watching the top cars count down. I'm sure my baby got first place." He said as his mind flashed back to his 'baby'.

"Yeah, yeah. We all know your precious car topped the bat mobile, so give me the remote. This is a once in a life time opportunity!" Beast boy exclaimed, flailing his arms wildly in the air.

"Don't you have a TV in your room?"

"Uh…" Beast boy's mind played back to when he "Accidentally" smashed his TV while hiding from Raven "That's not the point. The point is that this movie is supposed to haunt you for the next year! C'mon, you know you wanna watch it."

"I only want to watch my station." Cyborg retorted as he began flipping through the channels once again. The remote was suddenly flew out of his hands with a pair of talons. Cyborg looked up to see a green hawk morph into a taunting Beast boy.

"Ha!" he said as he waved the controller in the Cyborg's face. Growling under his breath, Cyborg lunged at his smaller friend, attempting to grab the remote. While Beast boy tried to fend off his larger component, Starfire walked in.

She watched as the remote slide away from her two still fighting friends, and picked it up. Grabbing a bottle of mustard, she sat down on the couch.

By the time the boys noticed the remote was with neither of them, it was too late to get it back. Star was already deep in concentration with the world of fungus. Beast boy slumped and began to walk away.

"I'll be in my room." Cyborg quickly followed after, trying to wipe off the tears forming around his eyes.

Prompt for island mirage: diary

Beast boy quickly shifted his position from the floor to the wall, checking both ways, before continuing with his stalk. He came to a door engraved 'RAVEN'. Making sure again that no one saw him, he slowly opened the door.

"You got a lot of nerve going back in_ her_ room." Beast boy turned around and came face to face with his cybernetic friend.

"Heh heh, hey Cy. What're you up to?"

"I don't know what are you up to?" he asked, getting closer to the green teen. Beast boy rubbed his beck nervously.

"Um…I left something in there." He stalled.

"And that would be?"

"My…um…lucky penny. Yeah, I dropped it last time we were, um, sucked in her portal of doom." Cyborg stared at his green friend, before sighing and standing back up.

"ok…but if she catches you, you can kiss that green butt goodbye." With that, he walked away. Beast boy sighed. It must've been his lucky day. He turned back to the door, and slowly opened it the rest of the way. He poked his head through the door and peered inside,

"Don't mind me…just getting my…penny." He said as he began walking in her room. He walked up to her mirror, and quickly took a step back. He then walked over to her bed and felt the violet covers. It was smooth to the touch.

He then made his way toward her dresser, where he found a journal. But not any journal, a diary.

"Hello, what do we have here?" he scanned a few pages, but one inparticular one made his reread it a few times, "You're dead." He read aloud.

"You bet you are." Beast boy slowly turned around, recognizing the sound of the voice instantly. Raven stood there, in all her gut and glory and two pairs of glowing red eyes.

"Meep."

Another prompt for island mirage: prank calls (part 4)

"Hello, is this Starfire, form the Teen Titans?"

"Yes you have Starfire. May I ask who this is?"

"Nonya." Came the response.

"Nonya who?"

"Nonya business."

"Well nonya business, why have you called?"

"Well um…bye." Beast boy hung up the phone.

* * *

**Well, thanks again to all my lovely viewers for reviewing. Any request I'll take. This was updated a lot faster than expected.  
anyways, enough about me. Has anyone heard that teen Titans are coming back in 2013? I discovered this on DevianArt, and I went on to make sure it was true. And it is! Hopefully, our favorite couple will get together and live in a gumball forest in a marshmallow castle with unicorns.**

**Cheesy I know, I'm not that little! R&R!**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter five (I think): adventures of onominous,

**Hey people of fan fiction! Um…what chapter is this? I think it is five. Anyways, here's my next chapter. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not, and sadly never will own the teen titans. **

Adventures of onominous

_In a dark and slightly cold room, sat a young author, who was busy typing on the computer. With a final flick of her wrist, she tapped the last words, and sighed. Cracking her knuckles, she got up and took a sip of her orange fanta, letting out a large belch._

_After a few moments of not being able to take the quietness around her, she dug under her bed, and pull out a mirror that closely resembled Raven's magic mirror. She stared at it, until she found her destination. She could make out a large building in the shape of a T. _

_Taking a moment to think about what she was doing, she jumped inside the mirror._

The titans were all inside the main room, doing what they would usually do at the time of day. Cyborg was playing a video game with Robin. Starfire was grooming Silkie. And Beast boy was pestering Raven. Typical.

Suddenly, a blue portal appeared on the wall, and a girl wearing nothing but her green stripped pajamas. She squealed, which got all the titans attention.

"I can't believe I actually did it!" she said, examining the room. "This room could use more color. Man, I owe my friends thirty bucks!" she was suddenly tapped on the shoulder.

"Hello, I am…."

"Starfire, princess of tameran. Nice to meet you." She said, shaking the alien's hand. Soon the rest of the titans were at the tameranians side, all starring at the unsuspected visitor.

"Who are you?" Robin said, stepping in front of Starfire with his bow staff to the girls face.

"Whoa Robin, let's not do anything we might regret. The named Am-uh I mean-onominous, at your service." She said, doing a small curtsy. "Don't worry, I am not all magic-y, and I come in pace." She said, holding up her hand with the peace signal.

Cyborg walked up, doing a scan on the mysterious girl.

"She's not lying." He said, taking a step back.

"Dude, normal people don't step out a swirling vortex!" Beast boy exclaimed, flailing his arms around in the air. The girl squealed and pulled the green boy into a bone crushing hug that could easily beat Starfire's. "Why is this chick hugging me?"

"Oh Beast boy, it is such an honor to meet you! I am your biggest fan. You know green is my favorite color right?" she said excitedly.

"Really?"

"Well, actually it's blue but I can make exceptions." She said, finally letting him down. After a few minutes to regain his breath, the boy his behind the dark empath.

"Get off of me Beast boy!" she said, throwing him off of him with her dark magic.

"No way dude, she scares me." The girl giggled.

"Aw, you guys are so cute together!" she squealed.

"Um…what brings you here friend onominous?" Starfire asked.

"Oh, I was bored and I decided to just you know, pop by." Cyborg land into Robin and whispered, "Should we call the police?" Robin shook his head.

"So, while I am here I might as well ask a few questions. So Robin, we all know you are positively in love with Starfire, so my question is…when will you ask her out?"

"Err...uh…I am uncomfortable with this question." The girl simple rolled her eyes and side stepped to Starfire.

"Starfire…everyone wants to know…what were your feelings when Mr. Titanium called you troq?"

"Um…I too is the upmost uncomfortable with this question. Do skip to the next person." The girl scoffed. But moved ahead to Cyborg.

"So chips for brain. This question has been on my mind for a while now. Who would you rather date Bee or Jinx?"

"I mean, Jinx has flash and I can't go on another friends girl. But Bee is- wait, why am I telling you this?" The girl giggled and moved onto the second to the last person.

"Raven, Raven, Raven. So many questions but so little time. Let's see." the girl put her finger on her chin and tapped it. An evil grin spread across her face. "My souses tell me there is someone you _love _in this very room, true or real?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"Don't deny Raven, denial leads to destruction." She said her word of wisdom, and moved to the last person. Beast boy squeaked.

"And Beast boy, can I have a lock of your hair?"

"W-what?"

"A lock of your hair." She said more slowly.

"NO!" the girl stepped back.

"Worth a shot, right?" she said smiling. "And one more question for all of you. In the episode _things change_, whatever happens to that shifty monster? I mean, you left us viewers with no clue how it ended.

"We don't have a show." Robin said.

"Right…well titans I must be going." She said as she stepped back to the portal. "I be back." Was the last thing she said before jumping inside?

"That was weird." Raven said.

"Totally." Beast boy said. The both blushed.

_In a dark room, a girl stepped out of a blue portal with a large smile on her face._

"_Oh yes titans, I will be back."_

**Well that was fun to write! But seriously, if I met the titans I would faint. Anyways, please review. I hope you enjoyed. And requests will be taken!**


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